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Your Weekly Laugh

Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to A:MO/BG Rendl Dronshed at kabanet@mail.matav.hu. After all we always need a good laugh!

  • What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something.
  • What's the difference between a Mac and a doorstop? 4.5 Kg.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, after carefull market evaluation and consumer surveys, it was deemed to be an economically sounder proposition in the long term.
  • What's two feet high, ten feet wide and can't fit through a door? A baby with a javelin through it's head.
  • Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.
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    THE GRAVY LADLE

    John invited his mother over for dinner.  During the meal, his mother couldn't  help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was.  Over the course of the evening, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional."

    About a week later, the housekeeper came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.  You don't suppose she took it, do you?"  John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."  So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle.  But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

    Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which said "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your housekeeper, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with your housekeeper.  But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

     

    THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IN SURGERY

  • Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
  • Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
  • Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  • Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  • Hand me that... uh... thingie.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  • Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of em.
  • I hate it when they're missing stuff in here..
  • Cool!  Now make his leg twitch!
  • Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
  • And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of  the ape.
  • OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
  • FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
  • Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

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    Well that's it for this week folks. Be sure to check back as we will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

    I would like to thank Barlee Bre for sending the Morale Office all these funny anecdotes as she does every week. We finally found a use for them.

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    created by Brigadier General Dronshed


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