Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.
If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to A:MO/BG Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!
A GRASSHOPPER...
A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says "You know we have a drink in this place named after you." The grasshopper says "That's stupid, who would name a drink George".
THERE ARE 3 GIRL FRIENDS IN HEAVEN...
There are 3 girl friends in Heaven. One of them is walking with this really ugly guy, so the 2 friends go to God and say, "What's up with that?" God says, "She was really bad during her stay on Earth, so that's her punishment." The next day the 2nd girl is walking around with a really ugly guy, so the other 2 friends go up to God and say,"What's up with that?" God says, "She was naughty during her stay on Earth and that's her punishment." The next day the 3rd girl is walking around with this fine guy, so the other 2 girls march up to God and say, "What's up with that??" God says, "Well, she was really good during her stay on Earth, that's the guy's punishment."
WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN
If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.
Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you've got sick of him.
Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probaly lies about other things too.
A woman's work that is never done, is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.
Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -- "don't" and "stop" (but not used together).
Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.
Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.
Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a women.
There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them!
Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent -- but they make great pets!
Mens brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.
Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.
Well that's it for this week folks. Be sure to check back as we will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.
I would like to thank Barlee Bre for sending the Morale Office funny anecdotes.
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created by Brigadier General Dronshed