YOUR WEEKLY FUNNY

Your Weekly Laugh

Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to A:MO/LG Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

RENT
Submitted by Colonel Thrawn

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
On the way to his office he regretted what he had promised, deciding that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he had his secretary send acheck for $250 and enclosed the following note:

Dear Madam,
Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that:

it had never been occupied;
that there was plenty of heat;
that it was small enough to make me cozy and feel at home.

Last night, however, I found it had been previously occupied, that there was no heat, and it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is heat if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is, indeed, of regular size, if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady!

He paid the $500 RENT.

EINSTEIN, JULIET AND WILT
Submitted by Captain Emerald

Einstein, Juliet and Wilt Chaimberlain are all sitting around one day bragging about how each is the best in their respective fields. Einstein says "I'm the greatest physicist in the history of the world". Juliet says "I'm the most beatiful woman who's ever lived." And of course, Wilt Chamberlain says "And I've had sex with more women than any other man could even hope to!" When up walks Merlin the Magician.
Merlin says the the three of them "If you'll come with me one at a time into my tent, I can use my magic crystal ball to see if you're right." So, of course, the three are ecstatic at the chance to prove themselves, and so up they go. Einstein disappears into the tent and re-emerges a few minutes later and proclaims "I was right! I'm the greatest physicist in the history of the world!" Juliet's turn. She steps into the tent and bounces out a few minutes later singing "I was right! I'm the most beatiful woman who's ever lived!" Wilt's turn. He strides confidently into the tent with Merlin to prove he's had more women than any other man, ever. Einstein and Juliet wait patiently until he emerges almost 20 minutes later shaking his head.
He just looks at them and says "Who the hell is Bill Clinton?"

THE DRUNKS
Submitted by Captain Emerald

Two drunks and a janitor are on top of the sears tower and one drunk turns to the other and slurrs rather badly "You know, the wind up here is soooo strong, I'll bet that if you jumped over the edge it would carry you back up." The janitor, intrigued, stops to watch. The second drunk says "No, that wouldn't happen. I may be drunk, but I'm not THAT drunk."
So the first drunk says "Watch and learn." He stumbles over to the edge, looks back at the other drunk with a wink and hurls himself over the side...Only to be blown back up to the top and land safely from whence he leaped.
The second drunk is astonished, springs to his feet and says "Let me try that!" He shambles to the edge, takes one look over, and leaps to his grisly death. Splat! The first drunk is laughing when the janitor walks over to him and says "You know? You can be a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Captain Emerald and Colonel Thrawn for their submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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created by Lieutenant General Dronshed