Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to A:MO/LG Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

WHY WE ARE ALL SO TIRED
Submitted by Colonel Thrawn

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron deficient blood, on vitamins, dieting, and a dozen other maladies. But now I've found out the real reason, It's because we're overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work of the entire nation.
85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 ill and in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you're sitting there playing around on Internet.

THIS GUY WALKS INTO A BAR...
Submitted by Colonel Thrawn

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck", he says, "I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer,
"What's the name of your penis?"
The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."
The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because "It really Satisfies."
The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on  a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?"
The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job 1." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is 'Secret'. Now give me my beer."
The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?"
The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"

WHAT DID HE SAY?
Submitted by Colonel Thrawn

An elderly couple was traveling cross-country and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman askes, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."
So the woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once... had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks," What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Colonel Thrawn for his submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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created by Lieutenant General Dronshed