Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/RA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

BLONDE HOUSEPAINTER
Submitted by Colonel Thrawn

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, 'For best results, put on two coats.'

THE TRUTH OF MEN'S SEX LIVES
Submitted by Colonel Thrawn

Seems that when the Lord was creating the world, He called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was absolutely horrified...
"Only twenty years of normal sex life?" Yet, the Lord was adamant and insisted that Man could have no more than twenty years of normal sex life.
Then, the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But, I don't need twenty years," protested the monkey. "Ten years is plenty for me."
Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten years?" The monkey graciously agreed.
Then, the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years. The lion, like the monkey, only wanted ten years.
Again, man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten years?" The lion graciously agreed.
Then, along came a donkey and he too was given twenty years. But, like the others, ten years was more than sufficient.
Once again, man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten years?"
And so, it all makes perfect sense now... Man has twenty years of normal sex life, ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it and ten years of making an ass of himself.

NOT BIG ENOUGH
Submitted by Colonel HotShot

There were a farmer and his wife who lived in the middle of nowhere. One night an alien spaceship came to their house. The confused farmers invited them in. The aliens spoke English and the farmers let them try their food, drinks and beer. When they were all drunk the male farmer thought of an idea, "How about we switch wives for a night?"
And the aliens agreed. That night they were curious and they tried sex. The female farmer looked at the naked alien and said, "You guys got small ones." so the alien weirdly pulled his ear and his penis got bigger. Surprised the female farmer said "Can you do that
again?", and he did and they were happy all night long.
Next morning the male farmer said "How was it last night?" His wife said "Oh, great! How about you?"
The husband said "I don't know, all she kept on doing was pulling my ear."

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Colonel Thrawn and Colonel HotShot for his submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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