Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.
If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/RA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!
IT INDUSTRY
Submitted by Admiral Gavlinne
You know you work in IT Industry in the 90's if ...
You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed up," and "I have an opportunity for you."
Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.
Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."
The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.
You read this entire list and understood it.
A VACATIONING PENGUIN
Submitted by Colonel Thrawn
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona
when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil
dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas
station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an
ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really
hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no
hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his
ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the
problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Admiral Gavlinne and Colonel Thrawn for their submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.
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