Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.
If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/RA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!
ENGINEERS VS. MANAGERS
Three Managers and three Engineers were assigned
to go to a meeting by train. When they got to the station, the managers bought three
tickets, and the engineers only one. The managers asked "How are you three
going to get a ride on the train with only one ticket?"
The engineers replied "You'll see."
They got on the train and the engineers headed to one of the bathrooms. Once the train started moving, a conductor knocked on the bathroom door and said "Ticket please." One arm came out and handed a ticket to the conductor.
The managers thought this was pretty neat, so on the return trip they bought only one ticket. The engineers didn't buy one at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" "You'll see."
They got on the train. The managers went into one bathroom and the engineers another. Just before the train started moving, one of the engineers came out and knocked on the managers' bathroom door, saying "Ticket please."
THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR DARTH VADER SAY
Tell me son,do you ever feel....not so fresh?!
I come in Peace.
Klaatu Barada Nikto.Well, gooooly,
Sarge. I didn't know it'd do that.
If I have to stop this spaceship...
Damn. I'm all out of Endust for Electronics and my chestplate is getting dusty.
I hate it when my goggles fog up.
Kill the Rebel scum. They're wearing REAL fur!
I'm getting a bit sore. Motti, would you be a dear and rub this Flexall into my shoulders? I've got a duel with Ben later and I want to be at my best.
Yogurt? I hate Yogurt!
Wonder Twin powers activate...
If you won't learn to polka, maybe your sister will.
What is thy bidding, my Master? The bid stands at 20credits. Are you in or out?
You've just been erased.
Got milk?
Okaley Dokaley, Emporino!
Do you get that no-so-fresh feeling too, Leia?
Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you...
Does anyone else think my head looks like the tip of a penis?
Uh, Luke, I don't quite know how to say this, but there's something I've got to tell you....
Please, tell me where the secret Rebel base is!
(in ESB, when he snatches Han's blaster, in a nasty voice) And you ain't gonna get it back!
Yo Ben! Hey Ben ol' buddy, long time no see! Hey, howzabout we break out them lightsabers and go a few rounds, just for old time's sake, whaddya say Ben?
I need a vacation...
Hey, Luke, wanna play catch?
All right, who used up all the hot water?
Would you like fries with that?
I am Sailor Moon, champion of justice!
Argh! Brain freeze.
Yo' momma's so fat that...
Don't mind the face, I cut myself shaving.
Ah, the hell with it. These ain't that funny.
Look son, it's like this...
Vader takes out his lightsaber and says, "Hey Luke! What's that on your belly button? BOOP! Gotcha!"
Cowabunga, dude!
Damn! This new underwear is really tight!
Doh!
Whatchyou talkin' about, Emperor Palpatine?
What's up, Emp?
Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
I'm gonna git you, sucka!
No, I am your father, (begins to sob) and I love you man!
What most people don't know is that I'm a sensitive kind of guy. Even after spending all day killing my own men, obliterating planets, and crushing the rebellion, I still find time to cry.
You have failed me for the last time, I said I wanted BLACK coffee!
Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth shattering Kaboom?
Captain Needa, I still haven't figured out how to get these blasted pants off. And I need to pee!
Don't kill any Ewoks.
<after choking agent> It's the circle of life.
Dear sexy knickers, I don't half fancy you. Meet me outside and we'll get it together.
This is CNN.
Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way.
I'm surrounded by assholes!
Obi Wan, you look so stunning in that robe.
As if!
Trick or Treat!
Fuck off!
I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Surprise, I am your secret santa.
I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.
Don't bother me right now. I trying to find my inner child.
I need to have my feelings validated.
Blargh! This coffee is hot!
Well that's it for this week folks. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.
RETURN TO THE MORALE OFFICE MAIN PAGE
created by Rear Admiral Dronshed