Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/RA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU REACH 30
Submitted by Max Porteous

1. You wonder how the last five years since your 25th birthday have passed so quickly.
   
2. If you have kids, you start to worry where they are.
   
3. If you don't have kids, your parents worry where they are.
   
4. You start to worry about you pension.
   
5. You find members of the opposite sex you wouldn't have looked at before suddenly very attractive.
   
6. You realise that most sports stars are younger than you.
   
7. You realise that most sports stars earn a lot more than you.
   
8. You talk about films nobody else seems to have heard of.
   
9. You start keeping a diary, just so you don't forget those important things like birthdays
   (your own), anniversaries etc.
   
10. You realise that the last five years only passed so quickly because it's taking you longer to do anything.

IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS...

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
   
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this and carry on.
   
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to reinstall the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.
   
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 97" or a "Car NT", but then you'd have to buy more seats.
   
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on 5% of the roads.
   
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
   
7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
   
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
   
9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.
   
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
    
    
    

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Max Porteous for his submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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