Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.
If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/VA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!
YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG...
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for omitting the "else" clause.
You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours/
When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page.
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number...
When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you look for a trash can icon for throwing
garbage.
LITTLE JOHNNY...
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing maths problems
when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your
gun how many would be left?"
"None", replied Johnny, "'cos the rest would fly away."
"Well the answer is four", said the teacher, "but I like the way you
are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating
ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone and
the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one that's sucking the
cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but
I like the way you are thinking."
Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank the submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.
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created by Vice Admiral Dronshed