Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/VA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

WHY STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN TITANIC
Submitted by Colonel Ducky

• Titanic's big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.

• Star Wars has way cooler action figure potential.

• Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.

• Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait.

• Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.

• When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.

• It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.

• Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.

• Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.

• We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for fun.
  
• Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
  
• People have not lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.
  
• Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
  
• Two words: John Williams.
  
• There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
  
• Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"?
  
• If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
  
• "I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
  
• Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
  
• We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated "Luke... I am your father"?
  
• Han Solo would've missed the dang iceberg!

LAWYER

There were three men traveling together, a priest, a farmer and a lawyer. It was starting to get late and they needed to find a place to sleep. They came across this farm and they asked the farmer there if they could spend the night. He said, "that's fine but my guest room is only big enough for two people, one of you will have to sleep in the barn."
The priest said, "I don't mind sleeping with God's creatures, I will take the barn."
So they all agreed and went to their rooms(Barn).
About an hour later there was a knock at the guest room door and there stood the priest. "There is a chicken in there that won't stop clucking! I'm sorry but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."
"That's ok," said the farmer, "I'll sleep in the barn, after all, I'm used to it."
So they all agreed and traded places. About an hour later there was a knock at the guest room door and there stood the farmer. "I can't stand the odor from that cow in there any more. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."
"Well, I guess that leaves me," said the lawyer.
So he went to sleep in the barn. About an hour later there is a knock at the guest room door and there stands the chicken and the cow.

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Colonel Ducky for her submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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