Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/VA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

THREE PEOPLE

There was an American, a Japanse and a Russian that died and went to heaven. The Russian saw how much he was missed so he through down a silver star to show hi love for his country. The Janpanese threw down a gold star to show his love for his country. The American threw down a grenade because he hated his country. The Russian went down from heaven and saw a little boy crying because his dad got killed by a falling star. The janpanse also saw a boy crying because his father was killed by a falling stare.
The American saw a boy laughing. He said "Little boy, whats so funny?"
The boy says "my daddy farted and the house blew up!"

INSTALL WINDOWS 98

Customer: "I've just installed Windows 98."
Tech support: "And...?"
Customer: "The computer stopped working."
Tech support: "You already said that"

FUNNY LAWYERS

Lawyers typically aren't funny - unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide...

1) Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2) Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

3) Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'
Q: Did he kill you?

4) Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5) The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6) Were you alone or by yourself.

7) How long have you been a French Canadian?

8) Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

9) Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10) Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

13) Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14) So you were gone until you returned?

15) Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

16) You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what
it looked like, but can you describe it?

17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank for the submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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created by Vice Admiral Dronshed