Without a doubt, Monday's suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/VA Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

A FURIOUS LIGHTSABER DUEL IS UNDERWAY...
Submitted by Rear Admiral Spyguy

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand. It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.)

Darth Vader : Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke : He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader : No, Luke... I am your father!
Luke : No! That's not true! That's impossible.
Darth Vader : Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
Luke : No!!
Darth Vader : Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
Luke : Threepio?
Darth Vader : Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was only 7 years old...
Luke : No...
Darth Vader : Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no lightsaber, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...
Luke : I destroyed your precious Death Star!
Darth Vader : When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!
Luke : Well, it's not my fault...
Darth Vader : Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
Luke : Shut up...
Darth Vader : You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!
Luke : I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!
Darth Vader : Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

(Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.)

Darth Vader : I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine...

(Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.)

Darth Vader : Get a haircut!

COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM

1. Describe your problem: _____________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately: __________________________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: __________________
__________________________________________________________

4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__

6. Is your computer plugged in?  Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on?  Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?  Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse?  Yes__

10. Have you read the manual?  Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual?   Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?  No__

13. Do you think you understood it?  Yes__ No__

14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? _________________

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred? ____________________________________________________________

17. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
____________________________________________________________

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?   Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________

20. Tell me about your childhood. ___________________________________

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?  Yes__ No__

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?  Yes__

A LETTER FROM A COLLEGE STUDENT TO HIS DAD

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Rear Admiral Spyguy for his submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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created by Vice Admiral Dronshed