Without a doubt, Mondays suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to HC:MO/AD Rendl Dronshed at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

AN ATHEIST AT LOCH NESS

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting below to swallow them both.
As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God!  Help me!"

Suddenly, the scene froze in place and as the atheist hung in midair a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"God, come on, give me a break!" the man pleaded, "Just seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
"Well," said God, "now that you are a believer you must understand that I won't work miracles to snatch you from certain death in the jaws of the monster, but I can change hearts. What would you have me do?"
The atheist thinks for a minute then says, "God, please have the Loch Ness Monster believe in You also."
God replies, "So be it."

The scene starts in motion again with the atheist falling towards the ravenous jaws of the monster. The Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says, "Lord, bless this food You have so graciously provided..."

HARLEY HOG

There was a guy in the market for a used motorcycle (he had always wanted a nice big hog). He went shopping, answering ads in newspapers, but didn't have much luck.
One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner, "This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape."
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike, I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."

The guy takes the bike over to show his girlfriend and her parents. It's the first time meeting the parents and he figures it will make a big impression. When he gets to the house, his girlfriend says "Honey, I gotta tell you something about my parents before you come in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. The person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says, and walks in.  He is astounded at a huge stack of dirty dished in the middle of the living room. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piles up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. He leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet. So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.

"Her mom's kinda cute," he thinks, so he grabs her and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the guy realizes it's starting to rain. He knows he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father stands up and shouts:  "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes!"

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank Colonel Thrawn for his submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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created by Admiral Dronshed