Without a doubt, Mondays suck. Here at the Morale Office, we would like to try and make your Monday's just a little more bearable, by giving you a laugh to get you through the week. Therefore, every Sunday, the Morale Office will be posting a new joke, anecdote, or humourous comment on our Weekly Laugh Page, just to put a smile on your face and strength to fight yourself through the upcoming week.

If you have one such joke, something to put a smile on your fellow Imperials' faces, a bright note to start the week, then please forward it to A:MO/GN Desss at [email protected]. After all we always need a good laugh!

STUPID WISH

Three men had been stranded on an island for years. They had long beards, skinny bodies, worn out clothes and no hope. One day a bottle washes ashore and the first man picks it up. When he began brushing the sand off it a Gennie pops out and says, 'I can grant each of you one wish, what shall it be?'

The first man answered, 'Oh, I wish I were home.' Poof, he was gone.

The second man, without further thoughts, too said, 'I wish I was home.' Poof, he was gone.

The third man then told the Genie, 'I am very lonely here. So I wish the two of them were here with me!'

POINTS OF VIEW

An English professor wrote the words, 'woman without her man is a savage' on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: 'Woman, without her man, is a savage.'

The women wrote: 'Woman: Without her, man is a savage.'

CURIOSITY KILLS THE CAT

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of using the restroom. Each time he tried to use it, it was occupied. The flight attendant aware of his predicament, suggested he use the ladies room but she cautioned him against pressing any of the buttons. The buttons were marked 'WW', 'WA', 'PP' and 'ATR'.

Making a fateful mistake many men make in disregarding what a woman says, he allowed his curiosity to get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.

He carefully pressed the first button, marked 'WW', and immediately warm water sprayed his entire bottom. He thought, 'Golly, the gals really got it made.....' Still curious, he pressed the second button, marked 'WA', and warm air dried his bottom off gently and quickly. He thought that was out of this world. The button marked 'PP' caused a large powder puff to powder his bottom with a sweet smelling silky powder.

Well naturally he could not resist the last button marked 'ATR'. When he woke up in the hospital, he panicked and buzzed the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, 'What happened? The last thing I remember I was in the ladies room aboard a plane.' The nurse replied 'Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the last button marked 'ATR' which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover. Your...thing is under your pillow.'

DANGER FLIGHT

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. 'It will be waiting for you at the airport!' he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, 'Let's go! Let's go!' The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

'Fly over the north side of the fire,' said the photographer, 'and make three or four low level passes.' 'Why?' asked the pilot. 'Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!' said the photographer with great exasperation.

After a long pause the pilot muttered, 'You mean...you're not the instructor?'

Well that's it for this week folks. I would like to thank everybody for the submissions. Be sure to check back as I will be updating this page weekly. And don't forget to send your suggestions in.

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